Vulnerability. It sounds…weak to some people. Undesirable. Like something that isn’t good.
I’m starting to realize that it is truly GREAT! Why?
When we are capable of being vulnerable, but also realizing our strength at the same time, we are invincible.
For example, in terms of relationships. I’ve been single for a very long time. I’ve also made some choices in my relationships with men (and by relationship, I mean, interactions even) that have not been honest or have been from a place of insecurity. When I sat with myself and thought about it, I realized that I don’t actually see the man in many ways…I see what feeling I’ll get from being with them. What I make it mean about me, etc.
Yesterday, I chose to message a man that I had known fairly superficially for about 8 years. We had some interesting interactions over the last 2 years and it came to an uncomfortable point, where I made a few choices that weren’t ideal. And I realize…it was from a place of insecurity. From a place of thinking that if he liked me, that it would mean something about me. It doesn’t. He sweetly wrote me back and said that he believes I have a good heart and to follow it.
That feels…so profound to me because it’s true. If we follow our hearts (being truthful with ourselves) and focus on that, vs trying to get something from another person, imagine how beautiful our relationships would be!!! Perhaps then I’d be connecting with people that I truly click with. That truly care about ME, and not be searching and reaching out to people who aren’t interested. This man in particular told me that he cares about me as a human being. But not as anything more.
And truly, that’s okay. I’m glad that he’s a caring human being and I feel like I’m a caring human being. I will always care about him, even if we never speak again.
That also relates to making decisions in our lives which may be tough or scary. I have a few things in my life that I’ve been pondering and not sure about. If I sit and think about it, I know the answer. It’s scary to be vulnerable and make that choice. I also think it’s important to look at the possible effects of all decisions. And not just make a snap decision based on a feeling.
I feel lighter in a way. I want to continue to push and feel great about myself. From me. ME creating it! I wish that for all of you too! xo