They say, Youth is wasted on the young…

Well, ain’t that the truth. It is for me, anyway. Now that I’m not so young anymore, I can see it.

I was looking at old pictures of myself and realizing, DUDE. I use to be quite attractive and hot. HOW did I not see that in myself? Granted, sometimes I’d feel attractive, but overall, I thought I was subpar.

NOW, I’m looking at these pictures of my younger self and thinking, WTF was I thinking? How did I not appreciate how beautiful I was?

Isn’t that always the way though? “You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone”? Or changed, at least.

Right now, in my life, I miss the long, beautiful hair of even 6 years ago. I miss having perfect eyesight. I miss that kind of confidence that I had, despite my insecurities. I miss not being scared to be in a relationship. Or worried about my future. Having that feeling of limitless possibilities, in some ways. I had friends, I had social groups, and I always had family.

And there’s an innocence of youth that I feel like I’ve lost. I’m challenged with something right now and trying to figure out what I believe. I feel like I’m questioning EVERYTHING, which is good…but, in the questioning, there is also mistrust. Like, even with this new person who I just met, but we seem to be hitting it off. A small part of my brain is saying, Is this for real? Or has it been set up?

What?

I never use to worry about things like that. I was so much more carefree. But, I guess that’s what happens. When we’re younger, our problems at the time seem so much bigger. Now, in retrospect, they’re not.

Then I try this on, how about I look at myself right now with these eyes and this way of thinking and think about how I’m going to look at myself when I’m like 50.

Look at my relative level of youth right now and thinking about how I can help myself. So, that when I do get to 50, I’ll be proud that I appreciated every single minute of it!!! xo

*M

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