I was just having a discussion with my grandparents about an argument that my grandpa had with one of my cousins. She was trying to explain something and he was trying to explain something. Neither of them were listening to each other. My cousin got upset. Started crying. Said my grandpa called her stupid (which he did NOT). My grandpa, surprised and trying to understand why she’d be upset, then brought up something else unrelated, about her feeling upset because she feels like they haven’t given her enough money…which then made it worse.
I mean, that whole thing is its own thing, but it got me thinking…like, in our lives, we have reactions about things, problems that happen etc. If we were able to, in those moments, take a step back…breathe…and really get some perspective, how amazing would that be?!
Like, in this situation, instead of freaking out at each other and then cultivating bad feelings…wouldn’t it be better to acknowledge that there were reactions but at the end of the day, our time together and our love for each other is more important than childish reactions?!
Well, fortunately, my cousin seemed to have come to that realization, because she emailed my grandparents to essentially say, Our time together is the most important thing. I’m very proud of her for taking a step back and having that response (because her initial response, at age 26, was like a little girl). I suspect that her boyfriend also helped her to have some perspective too.
For me, my family is the most important. And while we have definitely all had our differences and disagreements, at the end of the day, I want to be connected and close to them. I feel like, if both parties are willing, we can always figure it out.
We all have our moments of childish reactions. It’s a part of our psychology because we make meaning of the world before we have rational, logical thought. And usually we act childishly, because there’s some sort of fear underneath. Like, for my cousin, I believe she is insecure about “being stupid” (like maybe she feels like she is). So, if she’s ever in s situation where she feels like someone may be insinuating she’s stupid, she flips out. It’s human.
But, it’s how we grow and learn from it that counts, in my opinion. I think we can always learn from our interactions with others.
And it’s not about who is right or who is wrong. How about, What can I learn from this?
My goal in life is to go for Love. Compassion. Caring.
And it can be hard. The reactions can feel so real and strong. But, it’s do-able.
Let Love > Fear. xo