I feel like I should write a book with that title and in it will be a combination of story of my life and also important lessons that I’ve learned the hard way and then people could have the heads up.
For example, some practical things like, What to look for in choosing a bank and a credit card. Also, how to look for great flight deals. Or…I’m sure there are other things, but my brain is telling me <sleeeep sleeeeep>
And then are other things like, Was it such a good idea to be away from my family, specifically my grandparents, for 2 years? Now, when I do I am back at home, I still live about a 5 hour drive from my grandparents. So I end up seeing them 4-5 times per year, generally anywhere from 2 days to weeks (in the summer). But, being away, I saw them…3 times in the last year, and for about a week at most each time.
My grandma and I text every day. Lately, it seems like all she is saying is that she’s tired. Always tired. I’m worried. Am I missing the still fairly healthy days of their lives? Am I going to go back and miss it? That’s one of my biggest fears is that they’ll pass away while I’m gone and I’ll regret having missed spending these last few years with them.
But…that’s the tricky thing, ya know? When I was making the decision to go away, I thought…am I going to live my life and make these decisions with the “maybe”? Or am I going to go for it and live my life and hope/pray that they’ll still be alive and well?
One of their friends is in the hospital right now and it turns out that he needs 24 hour care from now on. But…he’s 94!!! That’s a good 14 years away for my grandpa and longer for my grandma. So, I have hope. I would love love love for them to live another 15-20 years. I’d like to celebrate my grandpa’s 100th birthday!!!
Do you ever look back at your life and see all of the mistakes you’ve made? They say we can learn from these mistakes. Sometimes they are so painful, but I do think it’s true. There’s always something to learn about ourselves in everything we do. And the kind of person that we want to be.
Who do I want to be? I am still figuring that out! xo