Oh, look at all of the lovebirds…

Oh snap. Spring has sprung. And what does that mean? Love is in the air. <sigh>

Yes, I know. I’m just bitter and jaded. Constantly seeing people that I know falling love, getting married, having kids, traveling the world together.

A guy I know posted about how his love surprised him with a cool thing on his birthday. Another person I know was professing their love for their girlfriend. Someone else just had their first baby.

It’s all lovely, and I’m happy for them, but I find seeing all of that in my Newsfeed every day…it’s hard not to feel wistful. I haven’t had anything even resembling that feeling in such a long time. I wonder if I ever will experience it.

It’s sad to think about it. As far as we know, we have this one life that we are living. And, for me, I feel like I’ve missed out on so many thing already and I’m only getting older and missing out on more. I feel almost like I’m sliding down the hill and it’s getting faster and faster and soon enough I’ll be at the “bottom” and Life will be done.

While I sit here, after having stuffed myself with 3 quesadillas (2 more than I really needed) and a really stale donut…I wonder if the spirit of Spring will embody me too? I really want to be open to that and have it happen. I want something to shift in a good and positive way.

I was thinking, how can I take a small step to start helping myself? With the rebirth of spring, how can I rejuvenate myself and my appreciation for myself?

I thought that practicing gratitude every day would be good. And, I was just talking to fellow people working on their music and thinking, Oh…that’s when I feel my best! When I’m singing. I love it. And I suppress that I love it, but I love it.

I have a quote on my Lock Screen right now: “Pay attention to the things you are naturally drawn to. They are often connected to our path, passion and purpose in life. Have the courage to follow them.”

I’d like to start building this courage, in whatever form that may be. I think that I spend a lot of my life living in fear (and thereby, in comfort).

What a magical thing it would be if I could acknowledge where I am at in my life right this moment, and then move forward on my own path, not worrying about what anybody else has created in their path…look at my path and focus on that awesomeness with the concentration of a 15 month old trying to reach their soother on the high shelf. TOTAL focus.

“An optimist is the human personification of Spring”-Susan J. Bissonette

Indeed! xo

*M

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