And apparently we should all hate women. That is what I’ve been told is going to happen after I take this course. I’m starting a course tomorrow for the next 8 days. Long, intense days.
This surprises me because my experience of this aspect of the course that I’ve taken before was quite loving and compassionate. However, many people that I’ve spoken with are saying that it sheds light on the shittyness of women.
My gut reaction to that is two things:
1) I don’t need help disliking myself. I’m already there and struggle with that often.
2) This courses was for the most part created by a man. So…my knee jerk perception is that he has created this course to point out how shitty women are (and perhaps to justify why men hate women and treat them like shit).
If there is a part in the course that justifies why men are violent toward women…I can understand the being provoked part, but I am so frustrated hearing about how it’s the women’s fault for doing certain things and then men react a certain way: rape, assault, etc I can understand that women have their part, but that, in no way, justifies why women abused like that.
In this moment, I’m going into the course a bit skeptical and cynical. It’s a shit-ton of money and I am worried that it’s going to be for…what?
One of the people who said that I should take the course is a guy that I have mutual friends with. These mutual friends hold him in very high regard. We had an interaction where basically, I was caught up in my emotional shit and wanted him to want me. He didn’t. But, he was fine with fucking me, like he would an apple pie or a plastic blowup doll. Meaning, he was disconnected, barely looked at me and…it sucked. And, to be fair, he did try and be there for me…he did a great job, really, in that moment of the after effects. But, since then, I’ve tried to patch things, but he’s avoided me. Yes, I have my own shit, but since when is he all high and mighty…like, Oh…you should take this course about how women suck. Oh, boo hoo, men have it so hard because women suck.
I feel angry in the sense that…men generally mostly want women to fuck. So…if they don’t get that, well too fucking bad. That feels like such a superficial reason to want to be with a woman. For me, I actually want to get to know the man. This dude I had the awkward interaction with…I wanted to get to know him. He didn’t want to get to know me.
Anyway, apparently this course helps toward men and women understanding each other better. For us to build compassion for the way us women are, however shitty it may be.
We shall see. xo