I’m sitting here and thinking, What do I want to write about today? And my brain feels hazy. I had a Krispy Kreme doughnut earlier (unfortunately it was stale :-P) and I feel unable to focus and unsure. Not to say that it’s solely the cause of the Krispy Kreme doughnut…haha. It’s more related to that I find when I eat certain sugary, low-quality things, I feel like this. It’s disconcerting.
I was thinking, Do I write about my frustration in my job: someone who is higher up than me is very fearful, in my opinion, and I find their fear to make job even more challenging that it needs to be. Or about how I have this worry about my big boss because sometimes there are small things that happen and it seems like, for him, they are big and perhaps could lose the job because of it.
Or perhaps I should write about how I am fearful in my own way and really have no idea what is going on for my big boss. All I can do is relate to what has been communicated.
Or maybe I should write about how the seeming crush I have has seemed to dull a bit (of course, it’ll be a bigger test when I see him in person). And how I really hope it dulls even more, because I’m tired of it. I want this feeling to stop. It’s a needy feeling.
Or there’s also about how I find my job to be quite understimulating on the really long days. Someone was with me at one point and they said they couldn’t handle it, because it’s a lot of sitting and talking.
Or about how there are things that I want to accomplish in my life and I’m not working on them at all. About how there are opportunities, but I don’t seem to be putting in the hard work to take them.
Or about how I can’t seem to stop myself from having the Krispy Kreme (was it karma that it was stale?;) Haha). Or how I seem to be hooked on Netflix!
It’s funny sometimes how that happens…so many different things whirling in our brains at once. And that is just off the top of my head.
One thing I realized last night, hanging out with this group of people: my first impression of people is not always accurate. I had one experience of that which really stunned me and since then, it keeps happening.
For example, one of the guys that were out last night for dinner…the first time that I met him, I was at a Halloween party with a friend. These group of people tend to drink a lot of alcohol and party. First impression of many of them is that they are quite superficial. That there’s not much to them. I am quite into personal growth and working on self-awareness, and I like to hang out with people who are also interested in that.
That night, at the Halloween party (of course, I wasn’t drinking, so that may have tinted my experience), the guy I’m talking about had a little hole in his shirt, which one of his dude buddies ripped. Then someone else ripped it even more. Next thing you know, his shirt has been fully ripped apart. They’re all guffawing about it. It just felt really stupid. I also find that I’m not interested in hanging out with people who like to get wasted. Maybe it’s my old age 😉 haha. Getting wasted and messy/stupid…not my thing.
Then, last night, before we went out and people were drinking again…this guy was telling us about this stuff he’s into…he studied some NLP etc. He was enthusiastic about what me and another friend have been studying and doing. I thought, Damn! There’s more to him, it seems, than my initial impression. It never ceases to amaze me.
The lesson I learned from there is, Be open. Be open to people of all sorts of backgrounds. Even if I may feel uncomfortable, who knows? There may be more than the initial impression than you think! May have more in common than we know! xo