Feel the fear and do it anyway…

That’s the ideal. Sometimes I get uncomfortable and I don’t want to push myself.

Tonight, for example. I went with a friend who is visiting to a social gathering/fundraiser. It was a swing dance/hangout at a hostel. There were some soy meat veggie tacos (tasted pretty good), lindy hoppin’ dancing and friendly people.

I noticed myself feeling a bit shy and hanging by my friend quite a bit of the time. I spoke with a few people and initiated conversation, but I felt like I haven’t wanted to put myself out there recently. Even in the Uber on the way home (and on the way there too), I didn’t feel like talking. Usually I’ll chat with the drivers but today, I didn’t feel it.

Then…then my friend said, Let’s dance. AHHHHHHH. I don’t know how to dance. I’m super awkward and all of the people dancing were doing lindy hop…like, they actually knew how to dance. I really, really didn’t want to. I felt apprehensive. But, I did it. And it was pretty fun, even though we had no idea what we were doing. I’m glad my friend “forced” me to do it. Sometimes I need that pull or push to get past my inhibitions. My friend is quite outgoing and not afraid of making a fool of himself. I admire that in people. Sometimes I can do it, but most of the time I get embarrassed and worried about what people will think. It’s annoying, really.

I know that when I do challenge myself and push past the fear, then I feel more alive. In this moment, the most memorable example of that is when I sang (two different years) in front of about 250 people. The first time I did it, I remember standing behind the curtain and thinking, Well…if I’m going to fail, now’s the time to do it! And it was awesome. There’s something that happens for me often when it’s time to perform, if I let myself. If I’ve put in the work and know what I’m doing, it’s almost like letting go when it’s time to perform. Letting go of the fear…the fear of failing…the fear of expectations…the fear of what people will say.

Try it out sometime! Or, if you feel like it, in the comments, leave an example of something that you were feeling fearful about but did anyway! I’d love to hear about it! xo

*M

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