What a strange, strange world we live in…

Somebody bought my grandpa the 2017 Guinness Book of World Records for his 80th birthday this year. (side note: I’m pretty sure that the 2017 edition is put together before the end of 2015, so…that’s kind of weird).

Anyway, it’s kind of crazy!!! There are some things in there that I think are interesting (like the oldest living people/the tallest people etc). Then there are other things that I think are ridiculous (like someone with the biggest inflatable tube or something like that).

It’s so interesting what people put their focus on…what interests people. How some people tattoo 94% of their bodies, others implant horns into their foreheads, and others have plastic surgery to be like a cat.

I guess with so many people living on this planet, that there are bound to be a lot of variations.

Beauty. Beauty is one of those interesting things to me because there are so many types. I also find that it changes. Sometimes I look in the mirror and I’m like, Helllloooo! Other times, I feel like, Blechhh.

I just watched a video of myself singing a song, after no practice to a karaoke video, but I was confident in that I just did it. I wasn’t worrying about how I looked or about if I screwed it up. I gave myself permission to fail and do it. Let go of the expectation and have it be the very bottom starting point and move up from there to work on it: in terms of expression, vocal quality, emotional connectedness etc. I feel good about the base line. And because of that, I view myself as being attractive in the video. Usually I do not like how I look in pictures or videos.

Tonight, my brain seems to be jumping all over the place.It’s my last night at my beloved grandparents place before going back to the realer world, and then 6 days after that, the real real world: work life and getting things done.

I want to work on being the full me, the truest to me possible. Being aware and in the moment of whatever I’m doing. Being okay with feeling how I’m feeling and not looking for distractions etc. That is hard for me.

My friend has a tattoo on her arm that her boyfriend said to her, “What a strange world we live in that lioness thinks she’s a mouse”. When I heard it, I really liked it because I felt like I could relate. I feel like a mouse so often, but I know that inside of me, and sometimes when I’m alone, I’m powerful and confident. Somehow I can’t seem to touch into that sentiment for myself all of the time. Work in progress!

Happy New Years Eve eve eve! xo

*M

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