Nothing quite like finding out…

That your ex-boyfriend, who at the time you thought you would marry, got engaged. And finding out via People magazine. My mom just happened to see a picture of him tagged or something on Facebook and she mentioned something, so I looked on my FB and she was looking at his public page. I read his private page and noticed people congratulating him, to which I realized that he was (finally) engaged!!

The thing is, it’s pretty awesome that they’re engaged. They’re totally compatible and have been together for quite a while, so it’s only natural (I’ve been asking him about when they’re going to get engaged for years now).

But, it’s the jolt of finding out via an article from People magazine online that it happened. And how he planned it and there was a big party etc etc.

When we dated, many moons ago, it was pretty whirlwind. We fell head over heels pretty quickly and I thought I was in love. It’s the closest to being “in love” that I’ve ever experienced.

But, we weren’t on the same page for what we wanted in our lives. Work was very important to him (and it has paid off), but I didn’t want to be his assistant. I wanted to do my own thing and follow my own passion, not follow his.

Sometimes though, I look at his life now and I think, WOW! From the outside, his life looks amazing. Imagine what it would be like. But, I have no idea what it’s actually like. I see them maybe once a year very briefly and that’s it. I’m glad we’ve still remained friends…well, acquaintances, at this point. Because, at the end of the day, I am an ex-girlfriend.

I am on good terms with pretty much every ex-boyfriend I’ve had, which I’m grateful for. I think 100% of them are either in a relationship, married and with kids. And I’m…still single. It hurts a bit.

This next year is going to be my transformative year though. Time to get my shit together and focus on myself. And breathe. And feel. xo



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