And that’s really the key, right? I wonder for myself…is it because I don’t genuinely believe that I can, and that’s why I am not successful?
Often at night, while getting ready for the next day, I tell myself, “Okay…tomorrow morning, I’m going to meditate and then I’m going to do a little bit of exercise before I start the day!” 9/10 times, I hit the snooze until I’m rushing to get my clothes on in time for work.
I feel like there are different things that I love in my life: I love singing; I like how I feel when I’ve exercised: my body, my skin, my less cramps, stronger; I like how my body feels when I eat consistently healthy; I like when I’m persisting on my personal growth and pushing past my fears.
I also like comfort. A whole lot. Sleeping especially. I stay up late and then in the morning, I feel exhausted because I always have to get up at the same time! I know this.
For some reason, even though I’ve been a part of a personal growth course for over 6 years that has awesome tools for this, I can’t seem to help myself.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had moments. In the summer, I was running 3 days a week. On other days, I’d do yoga or some other exercise from a Youtube video. I was going to volleyball twice a week and challenging myself there. I was eating fairly healthy. I was seeing and making new friends.
And then life shifted and there were complicating factors, and I dropped it. All of it. Granted, I moved. I wasn’t living in the same place and so my routines that I’d carefully formed and stuck to were not the same. It felt like I started from ground zero again.
So, how do I pick myself up again? How do I take care of myself? That seems to be the biggest challenge…how to take care of myself consistently? How do I do things that I love consistently?
Because, the truth is, I have time. I can choose to go to bed earlier and not look at Facebook and Instagram until 1am (when I wake up at 7amish). I can choose to do a meditation at night before bed. I can do so many things…
Why don’t I? That’s the biggest question for myself. Perhaps putting in the effort for the life I want doesn’t override my wanting for comfort. When the donut is right in front of me, I want to eat it. I don’t want to think about longer term effects. I find that I live in the”right now” vs the “what will my effects be from this?”
A small example: I drank the rest of the Bailey’s I had last night, while discussing with my family about the election and seeing the results. This morning, I woke up with the most wicked menstrual cramps and basically laid in bed all day (missing the awesome day that I had planned for myself, which included seeing a friend before she leaves to go back home, as well as an awesome gathering of female friends). Why do I do this to myself?
I feel like once I’ve pushed past this, then I’ll be able to really enjoy my life. How am I going to start??? Small steps. Smalllll, consistent steps. 5 minutes a day. I’m going to choose another thing…either music related, or goal related. Wouldn’t that be great? What do I see for myself…work on it for just 5 minutes a day. What a difference it’ll make. What will you do for yourself to strive toward the life you want? 5 minutes. xo