I was thinking about vulnerability today. It came up because I was sitting on the floor of the room I’m in and meditating. Attempting to meditate? How does one know if one is doing it or trying? Haha.
So, I was sitting there and noticed these thoughts coming into my head about how I’m sitting here, with my eyes closed, fairly relaxed…and feeling vulnerable. Worrying a bit about whether someone was going to knock on my door and interrupt. Thinking about other times of feeling vulnerable?
I do agree with the statement in the title…perhaps minus the “only” part. I believe that there are various means to connection, but that vulnerability is definitely top 3. Connection to ourselves, connection to others, connection to the world around us.
It feels so vulnerable to share with someone a personal thing about ourselves…especially if we perceive it to be shameful or something that we didn’t feel we should do. Or, expressing to someone that you like them or are interested in them. I mean, there is a whole list of things, I’m sure.
Many times it is too scary to feel this vulnerability and we cover it up. By watching TV, eating a bunch of food, alcohol, drugs…or even, all of them at once. I think that’s why we numb ourselves to varying degrees…to sit and be in the experience of feeling vulnerable can often feel too intense.
In our society, in our world, generally it’s more acceptable for women to be vulnerable. Men are taught, from a very young age, that they must be the protectors of us vulnerable women. I can only imagine the pressure of that, and then also, the fact that many men do want to connect, but are taught that it’s not okay. What a challenging thing to push against.
I remember reading an article at some point about how one of the most vulnerable times in a man’s life is when he’s orgasming. For that split second, he’s vulnerable. Apparently, there’s a type of animal (I just tried googling it to remind myself) that the male has sex with the female and the moment that he ejaculates, the other males attack him, because that’s when he’s most vulnerable. Ugh. Can you imagine? When you’re at your most vulnerable, you’re attacked? Survival of the fittest, hm?
I know that in my life, I strive to be more vulnerable. Take chances. Push against my fears…feel them and do the things anyway.
As Brené Brown says, “Most people believe vulnerability is weakness. But really vulnerability is Courage. We must ask ourselves…are we willing to show up and be seen?”