Man, I feel like a woman…

Whatever that means. I think…I’m learning more and more about how men and women have differences in society in how we are treated and culturally, how we are suppose to be. Also, privileges and expectations that each gender has. I’m talking cis-gender, and also on a general level.

Let’s look at one area: birth control. Contraceptives. Prophylactics.

Now, in my opinion, it is definitely more of a thing for women to have a child since the woman is the one who grows and carries the child. For a man, the repercussions are not quite as obvious or the same effects necessarily. So, for birth control, the onus has generally been planted firmly on the shoulders of the female…in terms of the pill, or an IUD, or the patch. Then there are also condoms, for men and women. So, in the last few years when there have been forays and studies into a male contraceptive, you’d think that would be great!!

Nope. I read an article today about how there was a trial of 320 men taking a male contraceptive and 20 of them dropped out, for various reasons, many of which women experience ALL THE TIME on the contraceptive options we have: acne, mood/emotion changes, gaining weight/bloating etc. Guess what? The trial was canceled. Because 20 men dropped out (well, that’s what the article seems to say).

Seriously? WTF???? Women experience these effects of birth control all of the time and a few men experience it and the trial is ditched? Is it fair for women to be the ones who take the responsibility and discomfort of birth control??

No. I think not. Just because that’s how it’s always been does not mean it should continue that way. Personally, my experience taking birth control has been okay overall…I had skin issues, bloating, mood effects, and that became par for the course. The best thing was when I stopped being on birth control though…to get back to my natural body and self. That’s when I realized how much better it was off of the pill.

Once, I read this article about a fairly non-invasive, non-hormonal method of male contraceptive which basically involved doing something that would have the male shooting blanks. I thought it was so cool and said so to the guy I was dating at the time. He said he’d never do it. I said, Why? He said, I just wouldn’t. (That was one of the MANY red flags that we were NOT compatible. Ugh.) And it’s surprising how many guys out there feel that way. Feel entitled to the woman having to experience the discomfort of birth control and not them.

I don’t want to be with someone like that. My best friend’s husband posted this article about the trial for male contraceptive, saying that it’s such a great thing that they are working toward men also having a method to not impregnate someone to have a child. He also called out the fact that the trial was canceled. It’s men like HIM that I think are awesome in that they push past their own fear/entitlement/discomfort in order to look at the big picture: that it is both men and women who are responsible for not getting pregnant. We all want to have fun, so let’s share the responsibility too! xo



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