Work work work work work work

Work. What is work exactly? Is it a thing we do in order to make money to live? Is our work always something that is paid? Is it something we love to do that we get paid for? Something that we are passionate about and consistently committed to that also happens to pay the bills? Is work hard? Or is it easy and comfortable? Is it bad if it’s hard? Aka if it’s a difficult, exhausting and challenging, is it bad work?

I’ve never really questioned it. For me, work has been something that one has to do in order to live. In order to do the things that you want to do, that you love and are passionate about, outside of work. To travel and experience the world. And to pay off debts.

What about being passionate about your work? What does that look like? Having a job that you get out of bed every morning looking forward to doing. Because we spend a lot of our lives working…”making a living”.

I watched a video today by Jason Silva about passion. He talks about Stephen Kotler and how he says, “Passion exists at the intersection of three of more things you’re really curious about.” Add to that some of the things in the world that you feel you’d like to change and see how those things connect and badabingbadaboom=your life’s work.

Over the years, I’ve had a plethora of jobs, from walking around dressed up as a Lotto Ball, to handing out condoms to concertgoers, to making wine kits while underage, to teaching English in South Korea, to tutoring Spanish to First Nations students, to being an actor: auditioning, taking classes and booking a few gigs, to substitute teaching (that’s it’s own book right there!) to nannying twin babies from their 3rd day on Earth. All have been an experience that has added to who I am as a person today and I am grateful for the variety of experiences that I’ve had. None of them are my “passion”.

I feel like I want to find that passion. To be investing my time in something that I truly care about, that helps other people and that I feel “alive” doing. I know that I love to connect with people, hear their stories, support each other, talk about things that are challenging us, especially “taboo” topics that people might not feel comfortable talking about or expressing that they even have a challenge with it (you know…Sex, Relationships, Honesty, What We Want In Our Lives vs What We Think We Should Be Doing).

I have a WhatsApp group chat with my mom and my two sisters and when I expressed that I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up, my sister said something to the effect of, Well, it’s a JOB. That’s how it goes. Most people don’t like their jobs, but they do it and get through it. I feel sad thinking that. I don’t want to go through this one precious life in a job that I am just…putting up with. That I am just bearing going to work. I want to…love what I do!

There’s another angle to approach it as well. One of my friends said that it’s all about your attitude. That it doesn’t matter what job you do, that it’s about how you approach the job you have. That you can be the happiest even as a garbage man. That it’s all about your perception. It’s an interesting idea…that we control how we experience things and that we can decide to fully enjoy whatever job it is and be happy. That we don’t need to go out and find our passion and fulfil it: our passion can be in anything. It’s a powerful idea. One that I am not close to being able to do, but I like the idea.

Work. Currently, I am in a job that is quite challenging. Not in the hours per se, or the actual job itself. Mostly with a co-worker that has more seniority than me and whose opinion and decisions greatly affect how well I can do my job. It is stressful, challenging, emotionally and mentally exhausting at times and I feel like I’ve aged so much physically in the last 10 months of working here. But, I’m growing. I’m learning to be okay with being uncomfortable. To have reactions and not indulge them and freak out. To commit to something and through the ups and downs, see it through. Work within it. Every day is a new day and a time to experience life. Also, the focus and whole point of what I’m doing in this job is very gratifying and an experience unlike any other I’ve ever had before. So, for right now, it is working.

What the future holds, I don’t know. What I do know is that I am committed to spending time towards the things that I’m passionate and curious about and ideally, I’ll create myself a job from that. Work it! xoxo



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