“Sugar and spice…that’s what girls are made of”

Sugar. Some people are addicted to drugs. Other people are alcoholic. Other people may have other vices. Mine is culturally acceptable and rampant. I’m addicted to sugar. Sugar in donuts, in muffins, in churros, in ice cream, in banana bread, in cinnamon buns, in M&Ms, in 5 cent chewy candies, in Swedish berries, in chocolate chip cookies, in pumpkin spiced lattes…I could go on. My spices of choice? Cinnamon and pepper. Cinnamon for anything sweet. Pepper for anything savoury. My new love: mango valentina. Dried mango covered in dried valentina spice. So delicious.

I’ve come to notice that sugar is my crutch. I go to sugar like a child goes to their mother when they’re feeling down. Sugar gives me a nice hug and settles me down so I can continue on with my day.

Today, I was at a shopping mall. I went there to buy some nutella croiffins at this one cafe there. (Croiffin=croissant muffin, with nutella baked in. Yes. They are delicious). When I got there, I bought the croiffins and then thought, what? Am I just going to go home? So I wandered around a bit, trying to decide what to do. Went into the cell phone place to see if they could fix something…they could not. Started to feel stressed. Decided to get some Haagen Dazs. Due to a language barrier, they scooped me 2 scoops. I didn’t want 2 scoops, but I didn’t protest. And I ate both scoops. Somehow, it settled me a bit, so I could go and do the other thing I wanted to do: buy some flowers.

When I’m tired at work during the day, or I’m feeling a bit down, or I’m feeling emotional about something and it’s uncomfortable, who cheers me up? Something with sugar.

The thing is, I can see my pattern. I know I’m doing it. But, I still do it! The consequences of this habit…of this crutch are possibly devastating. Besides the effects that I already feel:

  • my skin always has some form of zit or red bump
  • I have chronic rosacea (where my face is red, especially my nose)
  • I’m often quite tired (even when I’ve slept fairly well)
  • my astigmatism has come back (12 years after laser eye surgery)-did some research and some studies have shown that sugar intake can affect eyesight. My mother, who had laser the same day as me, but has more of a savoury addiction-chips-still has perfect eyesight.

Then there’s the big C: Cancer. They say that cancer cells feed off of sugar. Apparently when you’re diagnosed with cancer, you drastically reduce your sugar intake, including fruit. At the end of the day, sugar is sugar is sugar. Also, there is diabetes in the family.

I try to scare myself with these things, but the addiction is too strong. I fear that I’ll run myself into the ground with this. The thing is, it’s not one of those things that is really talked about! Not really. If I were an alcoholic or a drug addict, those addictions can be much more obvious. Sugar is the silent and slow killer. It’s consistent. It gets you.

So far, my attempts at lessening my intake have failed. In my opinion, I think there’s an emotional component to it that I haven’t wanted to really look at. Not really. Is that momentary delight worth it? Is it worth the quality of my life?

Ideally, I will cut it out and see how I feel. Connect to how it feels to be free of sugar’s grasp. I want to live a long time, so…time to really think about that.

Sugar addiction. It’s real. And it’s serious. Let’s be free of it together! xoxo

*M

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